I heard part of an interview with Dr. Steyer on the "Think" program on KERA in Dallas / Fort Worth. The following are some thoughts in response to what I heard in that interview. My daughter is grown and on her own, so no longer needs me to set guidelines for her use of technology, but I've nonetheless given the issue of technology use by children a great deal of thought, and am sharing my thoughts about what I'd do, if I were responsible for a young person.
First, since I believe most values and behavior patterns are "caught", rather than taught, I expect I'd make certain that I was modeling for my child the behavior that I wanted my child to develop. In this instance, if I expected my child to limit use of technology, whether computer, or smart phone, or texting (gonna have a problem with that one; I don't text, and don't expect I ever will), then my child needs to see me limiting my own use of these items. My limits don't have to be the same as the limits for my child, but it's not reasonable to expect my child to learn to set reasonable limits on technology use if I show no signs of having any limits whatsoever.
In the interview, I think I heard a proposed limit on use of technology of a couple of hours a day. I expect that I'd be a bit more discriminating than to set a firm limit. Not all uses of technology are created equal. When the technology is an part and parcel of a shared activity with interpersonal interaction, like several members of a family watching a contest involving the favorite sports team, or watching programming with obvious educational content, such as one might find on the National Geographic, or History channels, or a classic motion picture, or use of technology in support of educational activities (using Wikipedia or Google books to find materials for a school paper) I would not count such activities against the time limit. Solo time with technology, with no or limited direct face to face interpersonal interaction would be limited to 30 minutes, or an hour a day. By the way, I strongly advocate that the technology should be kept in a public, common space.
In general, I support regulation and legislation intended to prevent bullying, not because of any expectations that these laws or regulations will stop bullies, but only because in US culture, regulations and legislation are the only method available to communicate the sense of our collective. I harbor no illusions, however that regulation or legislation are going to stop bullying. Since that's the case, it is incumbent upon parents to raise their children to understand how words and actions can hurt other people, so that they can refrain from engaging in those behaviors, on the one hand, and on the other, to raise their children with coping skills to enable them to deal with hurtful things other people may say or do, whether inadvertently or on purpose, in a manner that when a child is the target of such acts, the child knows other methods of coping with them, other than sinking into despair, and self destruction.
It's also important to teach children the importance of privacy and discretion from an early age. A child who is taught, and learns, that there are some things that one doesn't need to share with everyone, and who has learned how to exercise discretion on who can be trusted, and who needs to know, will have far fewer problems than someone who has not mastered these skills. In like manner, I believe that children can be taught to be comfortable with their personhood, and self image, so that the impulse to mimic celebrities may be reduced. I think one way to do this is for parents to be closely involved with their children and provide necessary guidance. A son looking at an advertisement for a particular brand of sports shoe, and a daughter looking at an advertisement for beauty aids, on the other, present a parent with the opportunity to help the child develop the critical thinking to perceive that the sports shoe is unlikely to give any boost to athletic ability, and that the cosmetics cannot make the daughter more beautiful than she already is.
As for telecommunications, in the olden days, if my daughter was going out anyplace, I would have made sure that when she left the house, she had the means to make phone calls home, or to a cab company, and that she had the means to get a cab home, if need be. This is a much less useful game plan these days, partly due to the disappearance of many of the pay phones. So today, I'd have a wireless phone (NOT a smart phone, just an old fashioned device that will make calls, and for which there is no text or data plan) that I would give her so that should there be a situation where she feels uncomfortable (or perhaps where I feel uncomfortable), we can reach each other if need be. As to texting, if my daugher or son were to be able to convince me that they needed a message plan, part of the negotiations would cover the point at which they were responsible for paying for the usage charges.
Finally, I would not prohibit a child old enough and with enough maturity to use it responsibly, from making use of some social media. For me, Facebook is unlikely ever to factor in this, as when I first looked at Facebook's Terms of Service agreement years ago, I found it seriously lacking, and in subsequent reviews, I've not felt it got any better. I'm sure there are social media sites that are vastly more appropriate for children, though, and I would be much more comfortable with a child honing any necessary skills on these sites.
